The Academy Awards

This in my take on them, and the whole program: 

Remember Mandy Moore

Cute Cosplay Costume 10

I like this one.  The pilot-style cap and the suspenders makes for an interesting contrast.

My Brain at Work

Things to Do While in Detention

1. If a girl is sitting next to you, say "Boy, your mustache is really growing in nicely."  If a guy is sitting next to you, say "That eyeshadow does wonders for you.  You MUST tell me where you got it."
2. Declare war on the people on the other side of the room.  Take hostages using a can of silly string.
3. Take on multiple personalities--the more the better.  Engage in loud, boisterous conversations using each one of them.
4. Start a sing-along.
5. Bring a whoopie cushion.  Deflate it at random times. This works well if several people are involved.
6. Make a sculpture out of all the pre-chewed gum wads under the desks.
7. Pay someone $5 to eat the sculpture
8. Conduct several science experements like "How big of a spitball can you make" and "whats that smell?"
9. Duct tape someone to the wall.
10. If an announcement comes over the PA system, cower under your desk and scream, "NO! It's those voices again!!"
11. Claim that you should be let go because the school didn't "read you your rights" when you were given the detention.
12. Bring CD's of bands like ABBA, Grand Funk Railroad, Billy Ray Cyrus, The Village People, and the Bee Gees.  Threaten to play them if you are not released.

Clothing Debacle

Half a Swim Suit, Maybe?

I wonder if I can wear it and fake it by wearing a tee for a top?  Being flat-chested sucks.

Relative Frequency of Types of Lies

How States Are Awesome

The Super Bowl Redux

Okay, the Big Event is over, and as a once-in-a-year-fan's perspective, here's my take on it:

National Anthem -- Christina Aguliera sucked; plus she didn't get the lyrics right .  Poor call.

Fans Outside the Stadium -- At $200 a pop to stand in the cold and watch the game from the outside, how do you spell 'loser' in Texan?

The Commercials -- They varied, as usual.
The best one -- Eminem and Detroits
The worst -- Bud Lite.  But they go with the crappy beer.

The Halftime Show -- The Black Eyed Peas stunk.  What discount store provided their costumes?

The Celebrity Shots -- Oh, really?  Barf.

The Game -- It was one of the great ones.

How States Suck

New Saint

The Vatican, in an attempt to make Christianity more relevant to American tastes, has canonized an American of unquestionable purity and virtue.  Already, thousands of pilgrims are planning to go to his shrine at Talledaga, Alabama. 

Character for a Costume Party

I'm thinking of going as Giselle, a good-natured country gril from Stan Lee's comic strip Stripperella.

Happy Groundhog Day!

Bikini Pharmacist

This is totally surreal!  Here she is in her professional garb, ready to serve a customer.

On the First Date!