The View from the Rear: March 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How a Man Thinks

Imagine one's thoughts:

"When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits."

Monday, March 28, 2011

Wives or Mistresses

Three men — a mathematician, a biologist, and an engineer — are discussing their love lives. The mathematician starts off talking about how much he loves having a wife. She takes care of him. She always there for him. She's so constant, just everything he could want.

But the biologist disagrees. "What you really need is a mistress", he says. "My wife is boring, but my mistress always makes sure there's something new and exciting going on".

Those two argue back and forth for a little while until, finally, they ask the engineer to break the tie. Which is better, a wife, or a mistress ?

"I like having both", says the engineer. "That way, one of them always assumes I'm off spending time with the other one, and I can go into the office and get some work done".