Mostly witty, smartass observations, or attempts at it.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Belldandy
It's very unlikely that the Goddess Belldandy would have worn something as improper as that string bikini.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Interstate 22
A man was driving down the interstate at 22 miles per hour. He never went above or below. An officer noticed and followed him a while and then pulled him over. Before the officer could even get to the window the man was saying "I was not speeding, the speed limit is 22 miles per hour and that is exactly what I was doing, I was not speeding".
The police officer said, "I didn't pull you over for speeding, I pulled you over for going to slow".
The man said "But the sign says 22".
The officer told him that he was on Interstate 22. As the man shook his head, the officer noticed that there were three women sitting inside the car. All of them were sitting with their mouths hanging open and spit drooling down the side. Their faces were very white and their hair was completely messy.
The police officer leaned toward the man and said "What's wrong with them?"
The man said "Well, we just came off of Interstate 134".
The police officer said, "I didn't pull you over for speeding, I pulled you over for going to slow".
The man said "But the sign says 22".
The officer told him that he was on Interstate 22. As the man shook his head, the officer noticed that there were three women sitting inside the car. All of them were sitting with their mouths hanging open and spit drooling down the side. Their faces were very white and their hair was completely messy.
The police officer leaned toward the man and said "What's wrong with them?"
The man said "Well, we just came off of Interstate 134".
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Boudreaux Joke
Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center.
Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.
This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.
Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, da governmen' pays you beneficiary $20,000. If you takes out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a mons, den da governmen' gots ta pay you beneficiary $200,000!
"Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?
Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.
This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.
Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, da governmen' pays you beneficiary $20,000. If you takes out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a mons, den da governmen' gots ta pay you beneficiary $200,000!
"Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first?
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