Holy Moley, our itenerant Fundamentalist minister and universal scold, has been working diligently in making American life more pious than it presently is. We really should commend him for his efforts. Here are some new discoveries in sinfulness, you imperfect sinners!
1. A dating couple should refrain from going bare-footed together. As a matter of fact, the wearing of open-toed shoes by women is a temptation to unsuspecting guys. Seeing a bare toe or more can be too much.
2. Chocolate is too pleasureable. Therefore, it must be wocked!
3. Sleeping late indicates a disorganized life. Getting up after 7:30 A.M. is giving into sloth.
4. Watching Fox News or ESPN is a near occasion to sin, due to the attractiveness of the reporters. Watch MSNBC or NBC sports, instead.
5. Japanese anime is a temptation.
6. Serving chili without spaghetti is self-indulgent. The sin of gluttony has been committed.
7. Christian women should never shower with their husbands. Showering with the preacher . . . . . it's okay if thou is comely.
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